So my list of the Top 10 TV Characters of All-Time has generated some heated debate here on teacher man. I feel it's my responsibility to address all of your concerns:
1. Obviously, I loved Ed as much as the next guy. As indicated in my preface, this was a nearly-impossible list to make. However, I stand firm. And Ed would never be the choice from that show--3rd at best. Phil would easily be #1, and he would be followed closely by Mike. If Frankie hadn't turned out to be such a freakshow, she would have been 3rd. Maybe Shirley. Man, that was a great show.
2. Michael over Dwight? Really? I suppose you're entitled to your opinion, but that's a crazy one. What about Schrute bucks? What about Cousin Mose? What about Jim's pranks? What about the health care plan? What about Dwight Schrute trivia? What about "Okay, see you later Pan"? What about how 911 is his emergency contact? What about how he can raise and lower his cholestorol on command? What about how he volunteers to hold the limbo stick for Captain Jack? And I thought of all of those in like two minutes!
3. The reason Swarley is at 8 is that I'm afraid putting him higher would be reactionary. Like when I made my Top 10 CD and I put "Carry This Picture," by Dashboard Confessional, on there. That was ridiculous--I see that now. But at the time, I loved that song. I almost debated whether B.S. should be on the list at all, but he shouldn't be punished for being awesome now rather than 15 years ago. (Come to think of it, he was awesome 15 years ago--hence Doogie's inclusion on the list.)
4. Again, this was a difficult list, and I really like Sports Night. But I just don't know where any of those characters fit. (If you looked closely, Isaac Jaffe was on the Honorable Mention list--he would be my top choice, I think. Just above Jeremy.) But was he a better character than Barney Stinson? Rose Nylund? Frank Barone? It's debatable, I guess, but as I said before, I stand firm.
5. I totally don't remember the Schrute bucks episode. I even looked it up online, and the whole thing seems foreign to me. Is it possible I missed it? I don't know how. This is unsettling.
Later gators.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Thursday, February 7, 2008
top 10 tv characters
NOTE: Virtually all of the information on this list comes from Wikipedia or IMDB. And I know some people hate Wikipedia, but it's convenient, and it's not like this is my masters thesis.
This might be the toughest Top 10 list so far. I had this idea when I stumbled across Bravo!'s list of the top 100, but I didn't like most of theirs, so I brainstormed some of my own, and before I knew it, I had a list of more than 30 quality candidates. After a full minute of deliberation, I pared the list down to 10. Before that, those who deserve honorable mention: Kevin Arnold, Niles Crane, Isaac Jaffe, Joey Tribbiani, Cliff Huxtable, Norm Peterson, Bull Shannon, Dauber Daubinski, Richard Belding, etc., etc., etc.
Now that that's out of the way, here, with coniderable trepidation, I submit to you the Top 10 TV Characters of All-Time:
10. Rose Nylund (Golden Girls)
SOME ROSE TRIVIA: She was born out of wedlock to a monk and his lover...She was raised in an orphanage and convinced that her father was Bob Hope (until she met her real father late in the series)...She's a native of St. Olaf, MN...She married Charlie Nylund...Charlie and Rose had 5 children...Blanche invited her to live with the rest of the girls after seeing her give a stray cat to a boy at the grocery store...She won St. Olaf's Woman of the Year award in 1988...She had the "highest suicide rate" at the Suicide Prevention Center at which she worked
MEMORABLE ROSE QUOTE: "Like we say in St. Olaf, Christmas without fruitcake is like St. Sigmund's Day without the headless boy."
9. Lowell Mather (Wings)
SOME LOWELL TRIVIA: He's the dim-witted handyman at the airport...Divorced his wife Bunny when he found out she was cheating on him...Brian sank his houseboat...He's quite a cook...Ends up leaving Nantucket to enter the Witness Protection Program after witnessing a mob hit...The name Lowell Mather is an allusion to the Lowell House and the Mather House, dorms on the Harvard campus
MEMORABLE LOWELL QUOTE: "I give blood all the time. Just between you and me, Roy, I'll do anything for a sugar cookie."
8. Barney Stinson (How I Met Your Mother)
SOME BARNEY TRIVIA: Transformed from a coffee-guzzling hippie into a womanizer after a girlfriend, Shannon, left him for a suited, better-established man shortly before she and Barney were going to work for the Peace Corps in Nigeria...Has a gay, black brother named James (Wayne Brady)...The voice of Barney's mother is Megan Mullally...Works for UltraSew, a manufacturer of military weaponry, petroleum, and the exteriors of tennis balls...Claims to have licked every national landmark in the United States...Nicknamed "Swarley"...Lost the Slap Bet to Marshall (and has currently received 3 of his 5 slaps)
MEMORABLE BARNEY QUOTE: "Think of me like Yoda. But instead of being little and green, I wear suits and I'm awesome."
7. Alex P. Keaton (Family Ties)
SOME ALEX TRIVIA: Born in Africa (while his parents were with the Peace Corps)...Kept a picture of Richard Nixon above his bed...Attended Leland College, where dated Ellen (portrayed by real-life wife Tracy Pollan) and Lauren (Courteney Cox)...Closet Doors fan (no pun intended)...Eventually became a Republican senator for Ohio, according to the series finale of Spin City
MEMORABLE ALEX QUOTE: "Mallory, someone stupid called...sometime today...about something trivial."
6. Frank Costanza (Seinfeld)
SOME FRANK TRIVIA: Did not appear in the series until "The Handicap Spot" (Season 4)...Fluent in Korean...Enjoys Latin music and TV Guide...Hates mice but loves squirrels...Refuses to remove his shoes in public...Retired religious icon importer...Inventor of Festivus and the "stop short" move
MEMORABLE FRANK QUOTE: "I got a lot of problems with you people! And now you're gonna' hear about them!"
5. Jack McFarland (Will and Grace)
SOME JACK TRIVIA: Former Banana Republic salesperson, Barney's salesperson, acting teacher, student nurse, surfer, Jennifer Lopez/Janet Jackson back-up dancer, and OutTV producer...Collects celebirty hair clippings...Claims to have "come out" in pre-school...Formerly-married to Rosario...Father of Elliot (whose mother is played by Rosie O'Donnell)...Inventor of the McFarland Method of Acting ("Acting is attracting!")
MEMORABLE JACK QUOTE: "Well, if you're wanting to make muskrat love with your girlfriend, why are you on the phone with me? (Pause.) Yeah, I thought so. You're my new best friend. Call me every five minutes."
4. Doogie Howser, M.D. (Doogie Howser, M.D.)
SOME DOOGIE TRIVIA: Finished high school in 9 weeks, graduated from Princeton at age 10, became a doctor at 14...Would have, according to Steven Bochco, left medicine to become a writer if the show hadn't been abruptly cancelled by ABC...Personal journal is available for all to read at http://doogiehowsermd.blogspot.com/search?updated-min=1989-01-01T00%3A00%3A00-08%3A00&updated-max=1990-01-01T00%3A00%3A00-08%3A00&max-results=14
MEMORABLE DOOGIE QUOTE (after a patient declares, "You're a kid!"): "True, but I'm also a genius. If you have a problem with that, I can get you someone who's older but not as smart as me."
3. Frank Barone (Everybody Loves Raymond)
SOME FRANK TRIVIA: Served in the Korean War...Married Marie because he "wanted sex"...Keeps score at Allie's t-ball games...Once crashed his car into Ray and Debra's living room
MEMORABLE FRANK QUOTE: "Pretty soon she'll get a mood that lasts maybe five days. Then it's a week. Then, what was once a bad mood takes over and becomes her only mood. And then, you become like me, where not a day goes by that I don't wish that there was a comet screaming towards Earth to bring me sweet relief!"
2. Dwight K. Schrute (The Office)
SOME DWIGHT TRIVIA: Assistant Regional Manager (and top salesman) of the Scranton branch of the Dunder-Miffling Paper Company...Loves Count Chocula cereal, muscle cars, his Casio calculator-watch, Birkenstocks, bobblehead dolls, laser tag, paintball, traditional corn husk dolls, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, 24, Alias, Smallville, The Apprentice, Heroes, and Lost...Claims to have a perfect immune system...Can play the guitar and the recorder...Owns a beet farm with his cousin Mose...Can be reached at the following phone number: 1-800-984-367. Seriously, call it.
MEMORABLE DWIGHT QUOTE: "Why tip someone for a job I'm capable of doing myself? I can deliver food. I can drive a taxi. I can, and do, cut my own hair. I did however, tip my urologist, because I am unable to pulverize my own kidney stones."
1. Homer Simpson (The Simpsons)
SOME HOMER TRIVIA: Has an IQ of 55...Hates Mr. Burns, work, and Ned Flanders...Has an 8-track player in his car...Email address is ChunkyLover53@aol.com...Has a tabloid web page at http://www.mrxswebpage.com/ (again, you can check it out)...#35 on TV Guide's list of the 50 Greatest TV Dads of All-Time...#2 on TV Guide's list of the 50 Greatest Cartoon Characters of All-Time
MEMORABLE HOMER QUOTE: "Look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him."
So there you go. And look at all of the crazy connections:
- Lowell witnessed a mob hit; Rose almost married a man who ended up being in the mob.
- Rose thought her father was Bob Hope; Barney thought his father was Bob Barker.
- Barney always suits up; Alex had a propensity for dressing up.
- Barney was going to go to Nigeria with the Peace Corps; Alex was born in Africa while his parents were serving in the Peace Corps.
- Jack has hair clippings from all four Golden Girls, including Rose.
- Neil Patrick Harris plays Barney and Doogie.
- Rose was St. Olaf's Woman of the Year; Frank B. was Man of the Year at the lodge.
- There are two fathers on the list named Frank.
Fascinating stuff. Later gators.
This might be the toughest Top 10 list so far. I had this idea when I stumbled across Bravo!'s list of the top 100, but I didn't like most of theirs, so I brainstormed some of my own, and before I knew it, I had a list of more than 30 quality candidates. After a full minute of deliberation, I pared the list down to 10. Before that, those who deserve honorable mention: Kevin Arnold, Niles Crane, Isaac Jaffe, Joey Tribbiani, Cliff Huxtable, Norm Peterson, Bull Shannon, Dauber Daubinski, Richard Belding, etc., etc., etc.
Now that that's out of the way, here, with coniderable trepidation, I submit to you the Top 10 TV Characters of All-Time:
10. Rose Nylund (Golden Girls)
SOME ROSE TRIVIA: She was born out of wedlock to a monk and his lover...She was raised in an orphanage and convinced that her father was Bob Hope (until she met her real father late in the series)...She's a native of St. Olaf, MN...She married Charlie Nylund...Charlie and Rose had 5 children...Blanche invited her to live with the rest of the girls after seeing her give a stray cat to a boy at the grocery store...She won St. Olaf's Woman of the Year award in 1988...She had the "highest suicide rate" at the Suicide Prevention Center at which she worked
MEMORABLE ROSE QUOTE: "Like we say in St. Olaf, Christmas without fruitcake is like St. Sigmund's Day without the headless boy."
9. Lowell Mather (Wings)
SOME LOWELL TRIVIA: He's the dim-witted handyman at the airport...Divorced his wife Bunny when he found out she was cheating on him...Brian sank his houseboat...He's quite a cook...Ends up leaving Nantucket to enter the Witness Protection Program after witnessing a mob hit...The name Lowell Mather is an allusion to the Lowell House and the Mather House, dorms on the Harvard campus
MEMORABLE LOWELL QUOTE: "I give blood all the time. Just between you and me, Roy, I'll do anything for a sugar cookie."
8. Barney Stinson (How I Met Your Mother)
SOME BARNEY TRIVIA: Transformed from a coffee-guzzling hippie into a womanizer after a girlfriend, Shannon, left him for a suited, better-established man shortly before she and Barney were going to work for the Peace Corps in Nigeria...Has a gay, black brother named James (Wayne Brady)...The voice of Barney's mother is Megan Mullally...Works for UltraSew, a manufacturer of military weaponry, petroleum, and the exteriors of tennis balls...Claims to have licked every national landmark in the United States...Nicknamed "Swarley"...Lost the Slap Bet to Marshall (and has currently received 3 of his 5 slaps)
MEMORABLE BARNEY QUOTE: "Think of me like Yoda. But instead of being little and green, I wear suits and I'm awesome."
7. Alex P. Keaton (Family Ties)
SOME ALEX TRIVIA: Born in Africa (while his parents were with the Peace Corps)...Kept a picture of Richard Nixon above his bed...Attended Leland College, where dated Ellen (portrayed by real-life wife Tracy Pollan) and Lauren (Courteney Cox)...Closet Doors fan (no pun intended)...Eventually became a Republican senator for Ohio, according to the series finale of Spin City
MEMORABLE ALEX QUOTE: "Mallory, someone stupid called...sometime today...about something trivial."
6. Frank Costanza (Seinfeld)
SOME FRANK TRIVIA: Did not appear in the series until "The Handicap Spot" (Season 4)...Fluent in Korean...Enjoys Latin music and TV Guide...Hates mice but loves squirrels...Refuses to remove his shoes in public...Retired religious icon importer...Inventor of Festivus and the "stop short" move
MEMORABLE FRANK QUOTE: "I got a lot of problems with you people! And now you're gonna' hear about them!"
5. Jack McFarland (Will and Grace)
SOME JACK TRIVIA: Former Banana Republic salesperson, Barney's salesperson, acting teacher, student nurse, surfer, Jennifer Lopez/Janet Jackson back-up dancer, and OutTV producer...Collects celebirty hair clippings...Claims to have "come out" in pre-school...Formerly-married to Rosario...Father of Elliot (whose mother is played by Rosie O'Donnell)...Inventor of the McFarland Method of Acting ("Acting is attracting!")
MEMORABLE JACK QUOTE: "Well, if you're wanting to make muskrat love with your girlfriend, why are you on the phone with me? (Pause.) Yeah, I thought so. You're my new best friend. Call me every five minutes."
4. Doogie Howser, M.D. (Doogie Howser, M.D.)
SOME DOOGIE TRIVIA: Finished high school in 9 weeks, graduated from Princeton at age 10, became a doctor at 14...Would have, according to Steven Bochco, left medicine to become a writer if the show hadn't been abruptly cancelled by ABC...Personal journal is available for all to read at http://doogiehowsermd.blogspot.com/search?updated-min=1989-01-01T00%3A00%3A00-08%3A00&updated-max=1990-01-01T00%3A00%3A00-08%3A00&max-results=14
MEMORABLE DOOGIE QUOTE (after a patient declares, "You're a kid!"): "True, but I'm also a genius. If you have a problem with that, I can get you someone who's older but not as smart as me."
3. Frank Barone (Everybody Loves Raymond)
SOME FRANK TRIVIA: Served in the Korean War...Married Marie because he "wanted sex"...Keeps score at Allie's t-ball games...Once crashed his car into Ray and Debra's living room
MEMORABLE FRANK QUOTE: "Pretty soon she'll get a mood that lasts maybe five days. Then it's a week. Then, what was once a bad mood takes over and becomes her only mood. And then, you become like me, where not a day goes by that I don't wish that there was a comet screaming towards Earth to bring me sweet relief!"
2. Dwight K. Schrute (The Office)
SOME DWIGHT TRIVIA: Assistant Regional Manager (and top salesman) of the Scranton branch of the Dunder-Miffling Paper Company...Loves Count Chocula cereal, muscle cars, his Casio calculator-watch, Birkenstocks, bobblehead dolls, laser tag, paintball, traditional corn husk dolls, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, 24, Alias, Smallville, The Apprentice, Heroes, and Lost...Claims to have a perfect immune system...Can play the guitar and the recorder...Owns a beet farm with his cousin Mose...Can be reached at the following phone number: 1-800-984-367. Seriously, call it.
MEMORABLE DWIGHT QUOTE: "Why tip someone for a job I'm capable of doing myself? I can deliver food. I can drive a taxi. I can, and do, cut my own hair. I did however, tip my urologist, because I am unable to pulverize my own kidney stones."
1. Homer Simpson (The Simpsons)
SOME HOMER TRIVIA: Has an IQ of 55...Hates Mr. Burns, work, and Ned Flanders...Has an 8-track player in his car...Email address is ChunkyLover53@aol.com...Has a tabloid web page at http://www.mrxswebpage.com/ (again, you can check it out)...#35 on TV Guide's list of the 50 Greatest TV Dads of All-Time...#2 on TV Guide's list of the 50 Greatest Cartoon Characters of All-Time
MEMORABLE HOMER QUOTE: "Look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him."
So there you go. And look at all of the crazy connections:
- Lowell witnessed a mob hit; Rose almost married a man who ended up being in the mob.
- Rose thought her father was Bob Hope; Barney thought his father was Bob Barker.
- Barney always suits up; Alex had a propensity for dressing up.
- Barney was going to go to Nigeria with the Peace Corps; Alex was born in Africa while his parents were serving in the Peace Corps.
- Jack has hair clippings from all four Golden Girls, including Rose.
- Neil Patrick Harris plays Barney and Doogie.
- Rose was St. Olaf's Woman of the Year; Frank B. was Man of the Year at the lodge.
- There are two fathers on the list named Frank.
Fascinating stuff. Later gators.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
mt. rushmore
This is a great roadtrip game that I'm going to turn into a mediocre blog entry. Here's the idea: Mt. Rushmore has, theoretically, our 4 greatest Presidents' faces carved into the side of a big mountain. If you were to make a Mt. Rushmore of the 4 greatest (fill-in-the-blank), who would you choose? Here are some examples with my answers:
BASEBALL
Hank Aaron
Willie Mays
Babe Ruth
Ted Williams
NEXT IN LINE: Albert Pujols
BASKETBALL
Larry Bird
Wilt Chamberlain
Michael Jordan
Bill Russell
NEXT IN LINE: Lebron James
FOOTBALL
Jim Brown
Joe Montana
Jerry Rice
Barry Sanders
NEXT IN LINE: Tom Brady
COACHES
Red Auerbach
Vince Lombardi
Bill Walsh
John Wooden
NEXT IN LINE: Mike Krzyzewski
ACTORS
Robert DeNiro
Al Pacino
Kevin Spacey
Jimmy Stewart
NEXT IN LINE: Leonardo DiCaprio
20th-CENTURY AMERICAN WRITERS
F. Scott Fitzgerald
Joseph Heller
J.D. Salinger
John Steinbeck
NEXT IN LINE: Richard Russo
SINGERS
Johnny Cash
Bob Dylan
Paul Simon
James Taylor
NEXT IN LINE: Sam Baker
I suppose I'll listen to some discussion on these since I had a hard time with some of them. And I would love to hear other ideas for categories--we take lots of road trips.
Later gators.
BASEBALL
Hank Aaron
Willie Mays
Babe Ruth
Ted Williams
NEXT IN LINE: Albert Pujols
BASKETBALL
Larry Bird
Wilt Chamberlain
Michael Jordan
Bill Russell
NEXT IN LINE: Lebron James
FOOTBALL
Jim Brown
Joe Montana
Jerry Rice
Barry Sanders
NEXT IN LINE: Tom Brady
COACHES
Red Auerbach
Vince Lombardi
Bill Walsh
John Wooden
NEXT IN LINE: Mike Krzyzewski
ACTORS
Robert DeNiro
Al Pacino
Kevin Spacey
Jimmy Stewart
NEXT IN LINE: Leonardo DiCaprio
20th-CENTURY AMERICAN WRITERS
F. Scott Fitzgerald
Joseph Heller
J.D. Salinger
John Steinbeck
NEXT IN LINE: Richard Russo
SINGERS
Johnny Cash
Bob Dylan
Paul Simon
James Taylor
NEXT IN LINE: Sam Baker
I suppose I'll listen to some discussion on these since I had a hard time with some of them. And I would love to hear other ideas for categories--we take lots of road trips.
Later gators.
Monday, February 4, 2008
this is the street i live on
PREFACE: After looking back over this, it's really long. Holy cats. And I have to thank Nicole Beckford for typing up our Conceptual Unit so that I had time to write it. You're the best.
As you know if you read the last installment of 20 Questions, I stayed home with Charlie on Wednesday because it was ungodly cold outside. Among the activities we pursued was our trillionth viewing of Sesame Street Presents: The Street We Live On. Because I know the show forward and backward, and because I was bored, I decided to keep a running diary. Enjoy.
0:01...We begin not with the theme song, but with Grover in a postal worker's uniform. He evidently has an important job to do: he must deliver a package to Oscar's trashcan. He seems nervous, even though Oscar's trashcan is about twenty feet away. (Is that right, by the way? How big do you think the Sesame Street set is? Am I the only one wondering that?)
0:37...Good to see that Maria and Luis are still around. My wife was recently traumatized when she learned that they are not married in real life and that the wedding that was staged for the show back when we watched it was a sham.
1:01...Bob's still here too, but from the looks of it, maybe not for long.
1:16...Speaking of impending death, remember when Mr. Hooper died? And when Maria told Big Bird that he was dead and Big Bird said he'd just see him "when he came back"? I just looked it up and I was 3 when that happened. Wow.
1:28...Remember the guy who was on Punk'd at that pool party and the girl's dad showed up and flipped out on him? I think that guy's on Sesame Street now.
2:39...GROVER: "You certainly can make that guitar weep, Rosita." Who are jokes like that for? Are a lot of kindergarteners picking up the Beatles allusion?
3:09...It's time for Elmo's World. Elmo reminds me of all the creepy girls I went to high school with (and now teach) that are obsessed with Sesame Street/SpongeBob/etc. characters well after they should have lost interest.
6:11...Well, it's official. My wife and I have a long-standing argument over Mr. Noodle. He's just made his first appearance, and it's a different guy than the other Sesame Street video we have. I thought the other guy was the real one and this was a fake, but Muppet Central News tells us that my guy--Michael Jeter--is known as "The Other Mr. Noodle." Also, he's dead. You might remember him from Evening Shade or The Green Mile. A moment of silence, please.
14:16..."Jackson!" yells Charlie. It must be time for traction with Action Jackson, a young man who rides around singing in his wheelchair. "I have a chair," he sings. "It takes me most anywhere." Because of this scene, Charlie pointed at John Couget at the basketball game the other day and yelled, "Chair! Chair!" I suppose that's okay, right?
16:00...So apparently Elmo has email now. It's a video message from Big Bird and Snuffy teaching him how to do the Snuffleupagus. "You put your right foot out, and then you take it back. You put your right foot out, and then you take it back. You put your right foot out, and then you leave it there. You're doing the Snuffleupagus." Not much of a dance, really. Also, a question: What is Big Bird? Is he electronic? A muppet? Guy in a bird suit? Because I see strings, but he couldn't do all that stuff with just strings, right? Same with Bert and Ernie. Ernie clearly grasps objects--how do you do that with a muppet? Am I the only one wondering that?
18:40...Elmo would like us to count the monsters in the monster parade. There are 10. I think we've got a Number of the Day sighting.
20:26...Yup. The Number of the Day is 10. And now we're counting things that there are 10 of: toes, bells, bowling pins. And a kid that Sara thinks is the black version of a kid we have in Sunday School has us count wind-up toys.
21:40...Hey, Ernie's here! Big Bird is chasing him--we're playing Journey to Ernie.
22:24...Big Bird doesn't think we're on Sesame Street anymore, and Humpty Dumpty confirms that we're not. (Why is Humpty Dumpty always an egg, by the way? It never states that in the actual nursery rhyme. Am I the only one wondering that?)
22:40...The three little kittens who lost their mittens. What's the rest of that nursery rhyme? In my head, it always turns into "leave them alone and they'll come home..." but that's Little Bo Peep. Anyway, we're in some kind of nursery rhyme land.
23:40...This is frustrating. Big Bird has stumbled upon the little old lady who lives in a shoe, but here are the problems:
1. She says she has 8 kids. Why not 10? That's the Number of the Day, after all.
2. Big Bird says to count them and if there are more than 8, one of them could be Ernie. So we count and there are 9, so we figure that maybe Ernie is disguised as one of the kids. Nope. The lady just didn't know how many kids she had.
3. Big Bird suggests they play baseball, and one of the kids annoyingly screeches, "I wanna' play shortstop! I wanna' play shortstop!" I hate that.
25:54...Big Bird runs into the actual Little Bo Peep, and guess what. Ernie's dressed as one of her sheep. Perhaps they knew that their viewers would confuse the three little kittens and Little Bo Peep, and it was an attempt at foreshadowing.
27:30...Question: How old are Bert and Ernie? Ernie plays with a rubber duck and stuff, so he's probably pretty young, but they live on their own. And they sleep in the same room, separate beds. Probably confusing for kids.
28:20...Ernie's dancing himself to sleep. Classic Sesame Street moment.
29:15...A lot of star power in this little montage. Here's a list of the people who are dancing to "I Dance Myself To Sleep": Martina McBride, Venus Williams, Doris Roberts, Gloria Estefan, some violin player, someone who may or may not be Danica Patrick, the guy from Law & Order, Julianne Moore, Julianne Moore's daughter, a woman dressed as a fairy who looks vaguely familiar, Seth Green (!), a guy from The Sopranos, the women from The West Wing (who are inexplicably dancing in a doctor's office), Larry King, and Dr. Phil. Nice.
32:33...We're playing Who Lives On Sesame Street?, which only bears mentioning because my sister-in-law's favorite part of the show is when they say, "Does George Washington live on Sesame Street? No!"
36:00...Elmo wants to watch the Grover, Maria, Big Bird, and All of Elmo's Friends Channel. DISCUSSION QUESTION: What do you do in your private life that you would stop doing if you knew that there was a possibility that it would be broadcast to all of your friends?
36:32...Sesame Street Fun Fact: Big Bird is 8'2".
41:12...Grover takes Elmo on a cab ride through time so they can see some of the events that shaped Sesame Street: Luis and Maria's wedding, Maria giving birth to Gabby, Gordon and Susan adopting Miles, etc. When all is said and done, Elmo is feeling nostalgic, so he gathers all of his friends to deliver a special message: He loves Sesame Street and his friends very much.
45:41...Time to sing "This Is The Street I Live On." Are we worried about the effect that Elmo and Cookie Monster are having on the grammar of our young people? Elmo always talks in 3rd-person. Cookie says things like, "This is where me eat me cookies." This is a critical stage for language development, and we have millions of kids listening to this. Am I the only one that's concerned here?
48:23...Dorothy (Elmo's goldfish) would like to tell us that today's episode was brought to us by the number 10 and the letter C. I can understand 10, but I'm not so sure about C. They sang "C Is For Cookie," but that was about it. I think C could have been better represented.
That's all, boys and girls. It's a fine program, but it almost raises more questions than it answers. Tune in next week for an in-depth look at The Life and Times of Jimmy Neutron.
Until then, later gators.
As you know if you read the last installment of 20 Questions, I stayed home with Charlie on Wednesday because it was ungodly cold outside. Among the activities we pursued was our trillionth viewing of Sesame Street Presents: The Street We Live On. Because I know the show forward and backward, and because I was bored, I decided to keep a running diary. Enjoy.
0:01...We begin not with the theme song, but with Grover in a postal worker's uniform. He evidently has an important job to do: he must deliver a package to Oscar's trashcan. He seems nervous, even though Oscar's trashcan is about twenty feet away. (Is that right, by the way? How big do you think the Sesame Street set is? Am I the only one wondering that?)
0:37...Good to see that Maria and Luis are still around. My wife was recently traumatized when she learned that they are not married in real life and that the wedding that was staged for the show back when we watched it was a sham.
1:01...Bob's still here too, but from the looks of it, maybe not for long.
1:16...Speaking of impending death, remember when Mr. Hooper died? And when Maria told Big Bird that he was dead and Big Bird said he'd just see him "when he came back"? I just looked it up and I was 3 when that happened. Wow.
1:28...Remember the guy who was on Punk'd at that pool party and the girl's dad showed up and flipped out on him? I think that guy's on Sesame Street now.
2:39...GROVER: "You certainly can make that guitar weep, Rosita." Who are jokes like that for? Are a lot of kindergarteners picking up the Beatles allusion?
3:09...It's time for Elmo's World. Elmo reminds me of all the creepy girls I went to high school with (and now teach) that are obsessed with Sesame Street/SpongeBob/etc. characters well after they should have lost interest.
6:11...Well, it's official. My wife and I have a long-standing argument over Mr. Noodle. He's just made his first appearance, and it's a different guy than the other Sesame Street video we have. I thought the other guy was the real one and this was a fake, but Muppet Central News tells us that my guy--Michael Jeter--is known as "The Other Mr. Noodle." Also, he's dead. You might remember him from Evening Shade or The Green Mile. A moment of silence, please.
14:16..."Jackson!" yells Charlie. It must be time for traction with Action Jackson, a young man who rides around singing in his wheelchair. "I have a chair," he sings. "It takes me most anywhere." Because of this scene, Charlie pointed at John Couget at the basketball game the other day and yelled, "Chair! Chair!" I suppose that's okay, right?
16:00...So apparently Elmo has email now. It's a video message from Big Bird and Snuffy teaching him how to do the Snuffleupagus. "You put your right foot out, and then you take it back. You put your right foot out, and then you take it back. You put your right foot out, and then you leave it there. You're doing the Snuffleupagus." Not much of a dance, really. Also, a question: What is Big Bird? Is he electronic? A muppet? Guy in a bird suit? Because I see strings, but he couldn't do all that stuff with just strings, right? Same with Bert and Ernie. Ernie clearly grasps objects--how do you do that with a muppet? Am I the only one wondering that?
18:40...Elmo would like us to count the monsters in the monster parade. There are 10. I think we've got a Number of the Day sighting.
20:26...Yup. The Number of the Day is 10. And now we're counting things that there are 10 of: toes, bells, bowling pins. And a kid that Sara thinks is the black version of a kid we have in Sunday School has us count wind-up toys.
21:40...Hey, Ernie's here! Big Bird is chasing him--we're playing Journey to Ernie.
22:24...Big Bird doesn't think we're on Sesame Street anymore, and Humpty Dumpty confirms that we're not. (Why is Humpty Dumpty always an egg, by the way? It never states that in the actual nursery rhyme. Am I the only one wondering that?)
22:40...The three little kittens who lost their mittens. What's the rest of that nursery rhyme? In my head, it always turns into "leave them alone and they'll come home..." but that's Little Bo Peep. Anyway, we're in some kind of nursery rhyme land.
23:40...This is frustrating. Big Bird has stumbled upon the little old lady who lives in a shoe, but here are the problems:
1. She says she has 8 kids. Why not 10? That's the Number of the Day, after all.
2. Big Bird says to count them and if there are more than 8, one of them could be Ernie. So we count and there are 9, so we figure that maybe Ernie is disguised as one of the kids. Nope. The lady just didn't know how many kids she had.
3. Big Bird suggests they play baseball, and one of the kids annoyingly screeches, "I wanna' play shortstop! I wanna' play shortstop!" I hate that.
25:54...Big Bird runs into the actual Little Bo Peep, and guess what. Ernie's dressed as one of her sheep. Perhaps they knew that their viewers would confuse the three little kittens and Little Bo Peep, and it was an attempt at foreshadowing.
27:30...Question: How old are Bert and Ernie? Ernie plays with a rubber duck and stuff, so he's probably pretty young, but they live on their own. And they sleep in the same room, separate beds. Probably confusing for kids.
28:20...Ernie's dancing himself to sleep. Classic Sesame Street moment.
29:15...A lot of star power in this little montage. Here's a list of the people who are dancing to "I Dance Myself To Sleep": Martina McBride, Venus Williams, Doris Roberts, Gloria Estefan, some violin player, someone who may or may not be Danica Patrick, the guy from Law & Order, Julianne Moore, Julianne Moore's daughter, a woman dressed as a fairy who looks vaguely familiar, Seth Green (!), a guy from The Sopranos, the women from The West Wing (who are inexplicably dancing in a doctor's office), Larry King, and Dr. Phil. Nice.
32:33...We're playing Who Lives On Sesame Street?, which only bears mentioning because my sister-in-law's favorite part of the show is when they say, "Does George Washington live on Sesame Street? No!"
36:00...Elmo wants to watch the Grover, Maria, Big Bird, and All of Elmo's Friends Channel. DISCUSSION QUESTION: What do you do in your private life that you would stop doing if you knew that there was a possibility that it would be broadcast to all of your friends?
36:32...Sesame Street Fun Fact: Big Bird is 8'2".
41:12...Grover takes Elmo on a cab ride through time so they can see some of the events that shaped Sesame Street: Luis and Maria's wedding, Maria giving birth to Gabby, Gordon and Susan adopting Miles, etc. When all is said and done, Elmo is feeling nostalgic, so he gathers all of his friends to deliver a special message: He loves Sesame Street and his friends very much.
45:41...Time to sing "This Is The Street I Live On." Are we worried about the effect that Elmo and Cookie Monster are having on the grammar of our young people? Elmo always talks in 3rd-person. Cookie says things like, "This is where me eat me cookies." This is a critical stage for language development, and we have millions of kids listening to this. Am I the only one that's concerned here?
48:23...Dorothy (Elmo's goldfish) would like to tell us that today's episode was brought to us by the number 10 and the letter C. I can understand 10, but I'm not so sure about C. They sang "C Is For Cookie," but that was about it. I think C could have been better represented.
That's all, boys and girls. It's a fine program, but it almost raises more questions than it answers. Tune in next week for an in-depth look at The Life and Times of Jimmy Neutron.
Until then, later gators.
Friday, February 1, 2008
charlie's top 10
Hi, everyone. It's Charlie. My dad let me be the guest blogger today. I know he's fond of making Top 10 lists, so I thought I'd take a shot at it. Since my experience is pretty limited--what the hell is SNL?--my topic is pretty broad: Charlie's Top 10 Favorite Things. Without further ado:
10. Bonk Jammies. For those of you who are unfamiliar, "bonk jammies" is what I say when I'm wearing my jammies--usually--and I fall down. Now, obviously, I don't like to actually bonk my jammies. However, when I say this, either Mom gives me three kisses or Dad does this funny thing with his lips, and I like those things. So it's a means to an end.
9. Almost! Dad and I play catch a lot, and while I'm quite a thrower, I'm not much of a catcher yet, so whenever the ball goes through my hands--which it does quite a lot--Dad says, "Almost!" And I like that. In fact, sometimes I say it even when I catch it. Dad thinks it's because I don't really know what it means, but the truth is, I just think it's a cool word. Almost! Hilarious.
8. Bubbles. Yes, there was a period there where I wasn't a big fan of baths. I don't know. You get all wet. It's cold when you get out. Not my cup of tea. But as of late, I'm really into them. I could sit in the tub all day. Just give me a cup, the Mr. Bubbles bottle, and a couple of those Crayola things that make the water all different colors, and I'm set.
7. Mana Milk. Who doesn't like milk? Seriously? Not sure why I throw the "mana" on the front end whenever I ask for it, but whatever. I still love me some milk.
6. Cracker Cheese. The origins of this one should be pretty clear. I like crackers and cheese, so I'd ask for it a lot. But last week, Mom and Dad and Aunt Stacy took me to this pizza place with a huge mouse and a bunch of games, and it turns out that the mouse's name is Cracker Cheese! Can you believe that? I thought it was so awesome that I pointed at him and yelled, "Cracker Cheese!" all night. Hold on a second. What's that, Dad? Chuck E. Cheese? You're pulling my leg. What kind of a name is that? Hmmm. I'll get back to you on this one.
5. Burger Fries. Have you ever been to McDonald's? You have to go! It's awesome. They have these cheeseburger things that look pretty nasty, but they taste awesome. And they have the best fries. Whenever we pass by one I start screaming, "Burger fries! Burger fries!" Mom doesn't always let me go, but Dad's pretty good about getting the message. But he should probably call it "McChicken Double-Cheeseburger Fries!" Just kidding, Dad.
4. Uncle Sam. God bless America. Kidding! I have an actual uncle named Sam, and man, he's terrific. He's pretty much the answer to any question Mom and Dad ask me. Who are you going to see at school today? Uncle Sam. Who's on the TV? Uncle Sam. Can you say, "I love you, Daddy"? I love you, Uncle Sam. I don't know why I do it. I just get bored answering the same questions all the time.
3. Bert, Ernie, Cookie, Elmo. Never mentioned individually--always as a group. Actually, I knew the characters before I even realized it was a show. Now I have videos and everything. If you aren't familiar with Sesame Street, I'd suggest that you check it out. You'd like it.
2. Bob, Larry, Nezzer, Junior, Show, Bat, Peas, Jimmy, Jerry. Naturally, the boys from VeggieTales were going to make an appearance on the list. (Incidentally, Show is Archibald Asparagus because he says "show" a lot in one episode, and Bat is the carrot that plays McPotipher because he looks like a carrot-shaped baseball bat that my buddy Carter has.) Nothing gets me dancing like the VeggieTales theme song. I've probably got a dozen of these videos, and again, I could watch them all day. And sometimes I leave the room and Mom and Dad just sit there, still watching them. A little childish, I think, but whatever.
1. Mommy and Daddy. Had to give a shout out to Mom and Pops. And I'm not just blowing smoke. Boy, you should see me cling to Mom for dear life when she says it's time to go "night night." And sometimes, if I feel like seeing Dad, but he's asleep, I'll just start screaming, "Daddy! Daddy!" at 2 or 3 in the morning. And he always comes, eventually. Sometimes, if I didn't know any better, I'd think he was annoyed with me. But I do know better. He's my dad.
So there you go. That's what's taking up Charlie Baker's time so far in 2008. Hope you enjoyed my blog. I'm hoping that Dad will let me take over again sometime soon--I've got some thoughts on the primary elections. Until then, later gators!
10. Bonk Jammies. For those of you who are unfamiliar, "bonk jammies" is what I say when I'm wearing my jammies--usually--and I fall down. Now, obviously, I don't like to actually bonk my jammies. However, when I say this, either Mom gives me three kisses or Dad does this funny thing with his lips, and I like those things. So it's a means to an end.
9. Almost! Dad and I play catch a lot, and while I'm quite a thrower, I'm not much of a catcher yet, so whenever the ball goes through my hands--which it does quite a lot--Dad says, "Almost!" And I like that. In fact, sometimes I say it even when I catch it. Dad thinks it's because I don't really know what it means, but the truth is, I just think it's a cool word. Almost! Hilarious.
8. Bubbles. Yes, there was a period there where I wasn't a big fan of baths. I don't know. You get all wet. It's cold when you get out. Not my cup of tea. But as of late, I'm really into them. I could sit in the tub all day. Just give me a cup, the Mr. Bubbles bottle, and a couple of those Crayola things that make the water all different colors, and I'm set.
7. Mana Milk. Who doesn't like milk? Seriously? Not sure why I throw the "mana" on the front end whenever I ask for it, but whatever. I still love me some milk.
6. Cracker Cheese. The origins of this one should be pretty clear. I like crackers and cheese, so I'd ask for it a lot. But last week, Mom and Dad and Aunt Stacy took me to this pizza place with a huge mouse and a bunch of games, and it turns out that the mouse's name is Cracker Cheese! Can you believe that? I thought it was so awesome that I pointed at him and yelled, "Cracker Cheese!" all night. Hold on a second. What's that, Dad? Chuck E. Cheese? You're pulling my leg. What kind of a name is that? Hmmm. I'll get back to you on this one.
5. Burger Fries. Have you ever been to McDonald's? You have to go! It's awesome. They have these cheeseburger things that look pretty nasty, but they taste awesome. And they have the best fries. Whenever we pass by one I start screaming, "Burger fries! Burger fries!" Mom doesn't always let me go, but Dad's pretty good about getting the message. But he should probably call it "McChicken Double-Cheeseburger Fries!" Just kidding, Dad.
4. Uncle Sam. God bless America. Kidding! I have an actual uncle named Sam, and man, he's terrific. He's pretty much the answer to any question Mom and Dad ask me. Who are you going to see at school today? Uncle Sam. Who's on the TV? Uncle Sam. Can you say, "I love you, Daddy"? I love you, Uncle Sam. I don't know why I do it. I just get bored answering the same questions all the time.
3. Bert, Ernie, Cookie, Elmo. Never mentioned individually--always as a group. Actually, I knew the characters before I even realized it was a show. Now I have videos and everything. If you aren't familiar with Sesame Street, I'd suggest that you check it out. You'd like it.
2. Bob, Larry, Nezzer, Junior, Show, Bat, Peas, Jimmy, Jerry. Naturally, the boys from VeggieTales were going to make an appearance on the list. (Incidentally, Show is Archibald Asparagus because he says "show" a lot in one episode, and Bat is the carrot that plays McPotipher because he looks like a carrot-shaped baseball bat that my buddy Carter has.) Nothing gets me dancing like the VeggieTales theme song. I've probably got a dozen of these videos, and again, I could watch them all day. And sometimes I leave the room and Mom and Dad just sit there, still watching them. A little childish, I think, but whatever.
1. Mommy and Daddy. Had to give a shout out to Mom and Pops. And I'm not just blowing smoke. Boy, you should see me cling to Mom for dear life when she says it's time to go "night night." And sometimes, if I feel like seeing Dad, but he's asleep, I'll just start screaming, "Daddy! Daddy!" at 2 or 3 in the morning. And he always comes, eventually. Sometimes, if I didn't know any better, I'd think he was annoyed with me. But I do know better. He's my dad.
So there you go. That's what's taking up Charlie Baker's time so far in 2008. Hope you enjoyed my blog. I'm hoping that Dad will let me take over again sometime soon--I've got some thoughts on the primary elections. Until then, later gators!
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