Is this self-indulgent? Maybe. Anyway, without further ado, the lies...
CELEBRITY ENCOUNTERS
If you look closely, you can see me in the background during the tour bus scene of the Vince Vaughn-Jennifer Aniston movie The Break-Up, which was shot in Chicago.
Nope. You can't. I think I did see the movie being filmed one day while we were in Chicago, but I'm pretty sure I'm not in it. I did talk to Rick Reilly on the phone, and I did see Kenny C. in a Nashville Subway--check out top 10 celebrity encounters for more details.
HIGH SCHOOL SPORTS
I was an all-conference football player in high school.
If you know anything about my high school football experience, this one made you laugh. In 2 years of JV and 3 years of varsity (I played both as a sophomore), we won a grand total of 3 games. We were routinely on the losing end of games that ended with scores like 54-6 and 63-0. If Mike Hinske would have nominated me for all-conference, he would have been laughed out of the meeting.
HOLIDAYS & OBSERVANCES
I spent my 21st birthday alone in my dorm room studying for an Environmental Studies exam.
I actually spent my 21st birthday singing in Carrie Volp's wedding. I might have had a beer from a plastic cup at the reception. Not exactly a crazy story, but better than this fabrication.
ENTERTAINMENT
I played the minor role of Pentheus, the King of Thebes, in a college production of The Bakkhai.
Did I fool some of you? I was indeed in The Bakkhai. However, I played the smallest part in the play: Guard. Pentheus was a big part and they wouldn't have let me touch it with a 10-foot scepter.
MOVIES & TELEVISION
I have never seen a full episode of Seinfeld.
Of course I have, you nitwits. You mostly know about the Jersey Girl incident, but I bet you were hoping that I wasn't a Mad About You fan. Well, sorry to disppoint. I think I watched that show about 4 times a day when I was in high school. High school! (I do feel less bad about this after reading that MENSA chose MAY as one of the 10 smartest shows of all-time. Seriously.)
FOOD
I spilled ravioli on my white shirt during my first date with my wife.
Wrong. I wore a red shirt, and I ate shrimp alfredo. She wore a red and white checkered shirt and ate Caesar salad. We ate at the Goose Blind. I got her daisies. We watched Murder in the First. Impressive, eh?
JUNE 21, 2003
I didn't eat anything on the day of our wedding.
Very close to being true, but not quite. I didn't anything prior to the wedding, which is why I spent the wedding reception feeling like I was going to pass out or die. However, I had a handful of popcorn and a bite of a cookie on the way from the church to the hotel. And about 8 bottles of Dasani during the reception. I just made it.
EDUCATION
I graduated suma cum laude from Ripon College.
I graduated magna cum laude. And I'm bitter to this day because I didn't get into Phi Beta Kappa. It's a stupid society full of a bunch of snotty, pretentious, self-important losers. (Sorry, dear.)
NUMBERS
I lost $250 on a gambling web site after betting on the Chicago Bears to cover the spread in last year's Super Bowl.
Anyone who thought this was true has no idea how terrified I am of my wife.
CHUCK B.
My son can consistently count from 1 to 10.
First, to clear up the other 2: One day Charlie fell down or something, and he came over to me to get a hug. So I said, "Oh no! Is Charlie sad?" And I tickled him or something, and he thought it was funny, so he kept saying, "Charlie sad!" so I would keep doing it. Later, we were watching basketball--as I've told you before, the only things my son will watch are Sesame Street, VeggieTales, and college basketball--and I said, "Look, it's Chris Paul." So he said, "Chris Paul sad!" And I thought that was pretty funny. So he did it again with Lebron James, then Michael Redd, then Tyler Hansborough. And now he does it with all of the basketball players he knows. Also, his friend Tiffany's mother--Wendy--is from China, and when they were there last, they got him the vest. He wore it on Sunday, and he looked awesome. However, he usually counts like this: "1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 8, 9, 10." And sometimes he gets real excited and it's more like this: "1, 2, 4, 7, w, x, y, z!" But he's 2, so give him a break, for crying out loud.
Later gators.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Monday, March 24, 2008
2 truths and a lie
You know what I hate? Ice-breakers. But whenever you go to a conference/workshop/etc., you're forced to engage in these ridiculous games and activities with total strangers where everything is backward because the most normal, well-adjusted people feel totally uncomfortable and the most insane, irritating individuals are as happy as a bunch of attention-starved clams. Anyway, the only one that I can kind of tolerate is 2 Truths and a Lie. If you haven't played the game before, the title pretty much says it all: You make three statements about yourself, two of which are true and one of which is a lie, then everyone else has to guess which is false. So we're going to play a little game of 2 Truths and a Lie starring yours truly. (If you're an avid reader, you'll notice that some of the answers have already been revealed in previous blog entries.)
CELEBRITY ENCOUNTERS
1) I once spoke on the telephone with 8-time National Sportswriter of the Year Rick Reilly.
2) If you look closely, you can see me in the background during the tour bus scene of the Vince Vaughn-Jennifer Aniston movie The Break-Up, which was shot in Chicago.
3) I once saw Kenny Chesney at a Subway in Nashville.
HIGH SCHOOL SPORTS
1) I was an all-conference football player in high school.
2) I was an all-conference basketball player in high school.
3) I was an all-conference baseball player in high school.
HOLIDAYS & OBSERVANCES
1) I dressed as Doogie Howser for one Halloween when I was in middle school.
2) I crashed my wife's car on the morning of our first Valentine's Day together.
3) I spent my 21st birthday alone in my dorm room studying for an Environmental Studies exam.
ENTERTAINMENT
1) I played the minor role of Pentheus, the King of Thebes, in a college production of The Bakkhai.
2) I was once called up to sing with the gospel choir at the Chicago House of Blues Gospel Brunch.
3) I sang "Mr. Blue," by Garth Brooks, in Walworth Grade School's Pops Concert when I was in 8th grade.
MOVIES & TELEVISION
1) I cried when Jennifer Lopez's character died during the movie Jersey Girl.
2) I own the first season of Mad About You on DVD.
3) I have never seen a full episode of Seinfeld.
FOOD & DRINK
1) I once ate an entire lemon wedge--including the peel--on a dare.
2) I have never had a cup of coffee.
3) I spilled ravioli on my white shirt during my first date with my wife.
JUNE 21, 2003
1) The bridesmaids at our wedding wore green dresses.
2) I didn't eat anything on the day of our wedding.
3) Our wedding party was introduced to the song "Copacabana," by Barry Manilow.
EDUCATION
1) I graduated suma cum laude from Ripon College.
2) I served as student council president my senior year of high school.
3) I began my 2nd-grade year taking two classes at the 3rd-grade level: math and handwriting.
NUMBERS
1) There were 90 students in my high school graduating class.
2) I lost $250 on a gambling web site after betting on the Chicago Bears to cover the spread in last year's Super Bowl.
3) Not including flip-flops, I own 5 pairs of shoes, none of which were purchased within the last calendar year.
CHUCK B.
1) My son thinks it's funny to pretend that certain professional basketball players--Michael Redd, Lebron James, Chris Paul--are sad.
2) My son wore an authentic Chinese vest to our Sunday morning Easter service.
3) My son can consistently count from 1 to 10.
Tune in tomorrow for the big reveal. Hope you'll still be able to sleep tonight.
Later gators.
CELEBRITY ENCOUNTERS
1) I once spoke on the telephone with 8-time National Sportswriter of the Year Rick Reilly.
2) If you look closely, you can see me in the background during the tour bus scene of the Vince Vaughn-Jennifer Aniston movie The Break-Up, which was shot in Chicago.
3) I once saw Kenny Chesney at a Subway in Nashville.
HIGH SCHOOL SPORTS
1) I was an all-conference football player in high school.
2) I was an all-conference basketball player in high school.
3) I was an all-conference baseball player in high school.
HOLIDAYS & OBSERVANCES
1) I dressed as Doogie Howser for one Halloween when I was in middle school.
2) I crashed my wife's car on the morning of our first Valentine's Day together.
3) I spent my 21st birthday alone in my dorm room studying for an Environmental Studies exam.
ENTERTAINMENT
1) I played the minor role of Pentheus, the King of Thebes, in a college production of The Bakkhai.
2) I was once called up to sing with the gospel choir at the Chicago House of Blues Gospel Brunch.
3) I sang "Mr. Blue," by Garth Brooks, in Walworth Grade School's Pops Concert when I was in 8th grade.
MOVIES & TELEVISION
1) I cried when Jennifer Lopez's character died during the movie Jersey Girl.
2) I own the first season of Mad About You on DVD.
3) I have never seen a full episode of Seinfeld.
FOOD & DRINK
1) I once ate an entire lemon wedge--including the peel--on a dare.
2) I have never had a cup of coffee.
3) I spilled ravioli on my white shirt during my first date with my wife.
JUNE 21, 2003
1) The bridesmaids at our wedding wore green dresses.
2) I didn't eat anything on the day of our wedding.
3) Our wedding party was introduced to the song "Copacabana," by Barry Manilow.
EDUCATION
1) I graduated suma cum laude from Ripon College.
2) I served as student council president my senior year of high school.
3) I began my 2nd-grade year taking two classes at the 3rd-grade level: math and handwriting.
NUMBERS
1) There were 90 students in my high school graduating class.
2) I lost $250 on a gambling web site after betting on the Chicago Bears to cover the spread in last year's Super Bowl.
3) Not including flip-flops, I own 5 pairs of shoes, none of which were purchased within the last calendar year.
CHUCK B.
1) My son thinks it's funny to pretend that certain professional basketball players--Michael Redd, Lebron James, Chris Paul--are sad.
2) My son wore an authentic Chinese vest to our Sunday morning Easter service.
3) My son can consistently count from 1 to 10.
Tune in tomorrow for the big reveal. Hope you'll still be able to sleep tonight.
Later gators.
Friday, March 21, 2008
gambling for the sake of gambling
Do you watch The Office? (NOTE: This entry is not going to be about The Office. I promise. But if you don't, you really, really should.) Anyway, there's one episode where March Madness has just ended, and everyone around the office is still so psyched to gamble that they start betting on random stuff like how many jelly beans are in the dish on Pam's desk and how long it will take Kelly to explain Netflix to Ryan. Well, we are smack dab in the middle of the greatest 48 hours of my year--the first two days of the NCAA men's basketball tournament--and I feel like a gambling addict. I need to bet on stuff. So I remembered an earlier blog ("the endorsement: the endorsement") in which I mentioned bodog.com. It's a betting web site. And while I usually check out stuff like lines on football games and odds on which team is most likely to win the NCAA tourney, they do have pages with things like "Celebrity Betting" and "Television & Film Betting." And I'm guessing that that would appeal to my audience a little more. Here's the web site. And here are some of the most interesting lines (my picks are in bold):
Who will Britney Spears' character mention as part of a joke during her cameo appearance on CBS sitcom 'How I Met Your Mother'?
Kevin Federline, Justin Timberlake, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, The Paparazzi
(I think the HIMYM writers are too clever to do something obvious like KF or PH. Unfortunately, saying herself only pays out 1/2, which means that if I bet $100, I only get $150 back. Evidently, the smart money is on Britney. And that's something you don't hear every day.)
Who will be the winner of American Idol 7?
(I'm not going to list everyone because if you watch the show, you know them, and if you don't, you're not interested. Anyway, I was all ready to say Chikeze because he's my guy, but the odds are 40/1--as opposed to 4/1 for Carly Smithson and David Cook or 14/1 for Michael Johns. I totally thought Chikeze was a front-runner. That guy's awesome. Lest you doubt me, check out his performance of "She's A Woman.")
Who will be the winner of Dancing With The Stars 6?
(To paraphrase Michael Scott, I live by one rule: Don't watch Dancing With The Stars. No way. Very stupid show. But I live by another rule: When you have the chance to bet on Steve Guttenberg, you do it.)
What country will Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's next adopted child be from?
(Again, there are a lot of options, but the shocker: the United States is going off at 8/1. That makes it the 2nd-most likely option. Doesn't it seem unlikely that they would have all these kids from Cambodia and the like, then adopt some kid from Phoenix? I'm going with Afghanistan. Incidentally, Africa is the 7/1 favorite. However, Bodog people, it's not a country.)
What will Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt name their next biological child together?
(The favorite? Marcheline. The long-shot? Jon. That's how mixed up the world is right now. Anyway, I like the 12/1 odds on Bertrand.)
Will iTunes surpass Wal-Mart to become the No. 1 U.S. music retailer in 2008?
(Based on the number of little punks that I have to yell at for listening to their iPods while I'm explaining restrictive and non-restrictive clauses, I'm going to say Yes.)
Who will be named as the Democratic candidate for the 2008 U.S. Presidential Election?
(I'm betting on and voting for Barack Obama, of course, but here's something interesting: the Obaminator is going off at 3/10, and Hillary is the 12/5 underdog, but you can still take the "Field" at 100/1. Are people putting money down in the hopes that Dennis Kucinich makes a last-second leap?)
Who will be the next President of the United States?
(Most of you will be glad to know that B.O. is the favorite, but John McCain is thisclose. Hillary is not.)
Who will win the next UK general election?
(I'm picking the Liberal Democrats in a last-second upset. I'm telling you, they're the Villanova of the UK general elections!)
Okay, I have to run. There's basketball on in 4 hours.
Later gators.
Who will Britney Spears' character mention as part of a joke during her cameo appearance on CBS sitcom 'How I Met Your Mother'?
Kevin Federline, Justin Timberlake, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, The Paparazzi
(I think the HIMYM writers are too clever to do something obvious like KF or PH. Unfortunately, saying herself only pays out 1/2, which means that if I bet $100, I only get $150 back. Evidently, the smart money is on Britney. And that's something you don't hear every day.)
Who will be the winner of American Idol 7?
(I'm not going to list everyone because if you watch the show, you know them, and if you don't, you're not interested. Anyway, I was all ready to say Chikeze because he's my guy, but the odds are 40/1--as opposed to 4/1 for Carly Smithson and David Cook or 14/1 for Michael Johns. I totally thought Chikeze was a front-runner. That guy's awesome. Lest you doubt me, check out his performance of "She's A Woman.")
Who will be the winner of Dancing With The Stars 6?
(To paraphrase Michael Scott, I live by one rule: Don't watch Dancing With The Stars. No way. Very stupid show. But I live by another rule: When you have the chance to bet on Steve Guttenberg, you do it.)
What country will Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's next adopted child be from?
(Again, there are a lot of options, but the shocker: the United States is going off at 8/1. That makes it the 2nd-most likely option. Doesn't it seem unlikely that they would have all these kids from Cambodia and the like, then adopt some kid from Phoenix? I'm going with Afghanistan. Incidentally, Africa is the 7/1 favorite. However, Bodog people, it's not a country.)
What will Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt name their next biological child together?
(The favorite? Marcheline. The long-shot? Jon. That's how mixed up the world is right now. Anyway, I like the 12/1 odds on Bertrand.)
Will iTunes surpass Wal-Mart to become the No. 1 U.S. music retailer in 2008?
(Based on the number of little punks that I have to yell at for listening to their iPods while I'm explaining restrictive and non-restrictive clauses, I'm going to say Yes.)
Who will be named as the Democratic candidate for the 2008 U.S. Presidential Election?
(I'm betting on and voting for Barack Obama, of course, but here's something interesting: the Obaminator is going off at 3/10, and Hillary is the 12/5 underdog, but you can still take the "Field" at 100/1. Are people putting money down in the hopes that Dennis Kucinich makes a last-second leap?)
Who will be the next President of the United States?
(Most of you will be glad to know that B.O. is the favorite, but John McCain is thisclose. Hillary is not.)
Who will win the next UK general election?
(I'm picking the Liberal Democrats in a last-second upset. I'm telling you, they're the Villanova of the UK general elections!)
Okay, I have to run. There's basketball on in 4 hours.
Later gators.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
"no bed!"
Wondering where the title of this entry comes from? Well, walk into my house tonight around midnight, and I'm willing to bet that you're going to hear those words. And they'll be loud. (Don't actually walk into my house around midnight tonight. That would freak me out.) Anyway, Charlie has decided that he doesn't like sleeping. In this way, he's very, very different from his parents. So for the last week, I've been spending anywhere from 1-4 hours awake with my son every night. And I don't think my body liked that, so I got sick and missed a day and a half of school this week. Incidentally, it's the first week of baseball practice and our River of Praise band is preparing for Easter Sunday.
So what's the point? Well, this is my first blog entry of the week, and it's not going to be an especially good one, and I wanted people to understand why. I'll do my best to come up with something tomorrow.
There is one thing that I wanted to include here just so I can clean up my email inbox (I hate having a cluttered inbox). A while back, I came up with a playlist for a hypoethetical CD that I might make for someone, and one of the songs on it was "Nothing Fancy," by Dave Barnes. Well, apparently there's a guy at Razor and Tie, Inc.--these people represent DB--who scans the Internet trying to find people who are writing about DB on their blogs. And he found mine, so he sent me a bunch of stuff--a Dave Barnes poster, Dave Barnes stickers, and, most interestingly, a Dave Barnes promotional CD. What a great idea. I'm sending these people one of Sam's CD's.
Anyway, the only thing he asked in return was that I post some links on my blog. Evidently they have a promotion going for Dave's new album that you can buy CD's/DVD's/t-shirts/etc. on special. So here are the links:
2 CD's & 1 DVD:
http://www.musicspace.com/referral.asp?tracking_id=dbblog&type=P&product
2 CD's, 1 DVD, & 1 t-shirt:
http://www.musicspace.com/referral.asp?tracking_id=dbblogtee&type=P&product=MS2934&partner_id=dbblogtee
I'm a big Dave Barnes fan, so I recommend that you check this out. And if you want a sticker, I'm your man.
Later gators.
So what's the point? Well, this is my first blog entry of the week, and it's not going to be an especially good one, and I wanted people to understand why. I'll do my best to come up with something tomorrow.
There is one thing that I wanted to include here just so I can clean up my email inbox (I hate having a cluttered inbox). A while back, I came up with a playlist for a hypoethetical CD that I might make for someone, and one of the songs on it was "Nothing Fancy," by Dave Barnes. Well, apparently there's a guy at Razor and Tie, Inc.--these people represent DB--who scans the Internet trying to find people who are writing about DB on their blogs. And he found mine, so he sent me a bunch of stuff--a Dave Barnes poster, Dave Barnes stickers, and, most interestingly, a Dave Barnes promotional CD. What a great idea. I'm sending these people one of Sam's CD's.
Anyway, the only thing he asked in return was that I post some links on my blog. Evidently they have a promotion going for Dave's new album that you can buy CD's/DVD's/t-shirts/etc. on special. So here are the links:
2 CD's & 1 DVD:
http://www.musicspace.com/referral.asp?tracking_id=dbblog&type=P&product
2 CD's, 1 DVD, & 1 t-shirt:
http://www.musicspace.com/referral.asp?tracking_id=dbblogtee&type=P&product=MS2934&partner_id=dbblogtee
I'm a big Dave Barnes fan, so I recommend that you check this out. And if you want a sticker, I'm your man.
Later gators.
Friday, March 14, 2008
teacher man mailbag
A while back, I decided that if a day came when I just couldn't come up with anything interesting for a blog, I would let you do the work. The day has come. That said, prepare for the first-ever teacher man mailbag with my responses to comments you've left along the way. Enjoy.
"I'm a simple girl, but I'll be supportive of your guac burger thing. But I really think you've got an entire state out here that would be receptive to your guac movement. You're not alone, Baker." (Claire, "guac, stock, and barrel")
So I went to Fuddruckers the other night with Nicole, and when I went up to order my burger, I said, "Do you guys have guacamole?" And the girl said, "Yeah. We can put it on your burger if you want." I was stunned. Is there a groundswell as a result of teacher man? Am I convincing the masses? "I do," I said. "Do people ask you to do that a lot?" "No." I see.
"I can't believe how much time you have to waste at school. I'm horribly jealous. But, clearly I'm not doing work right now either, so maybe I should just be quiet." (Stacy, "top 10 snl sketches")
Here's the thing: I don't have time to waste at school. I'm extraordinarily busy. And in that way, this blog is sort of like Netflix. Netflix makes me so nervous you wouldn't believe. Every time that we have a movie for more than a few days, I feel like I'm wasting hard-earned money. And sometimes I'll have a bunch of papers to grade and copies to make, but I'll sit down and type one frantic blog entry just to get it up. I think I'm getting a blog-induced ulcer. (Incidentally, wouldn't Blog-Induced Ulcer be a great name for a band?)
"i laughed out loud so much while reading this that my boss had to come ask me if i was 'okay' --aka, 'start working.'" (Joe, "the faculty meeting")
While I appreciate that you enjoyed the entry, your boss having to come calm you down reminds me of my degenerate students. They'll be goofing around, so I'll walk over and say something like, "How are we doing, fellas?" And they'll say fine and get back to work, then I go to another group and the first group gets rowdy again until we repeat the procedure. Eventually, I just say, "Guys, I'm getting bored of walking over and trying to give you subtle hints to get back to work. Knock it off." (In case you missed it, Joe, you were the degenerate student in this analogy.)
"sorry about that 'gross' comment, mr. baker. i thought i was being funny, didnt mean to offend. and steve carrell always makes a mean bratwurst." (Joe, "joe on rollerblades")
First, I don't think there's anywhere else on the Internet wherer you'll find the statemtent, "steve carrell always makes a mean bratwurst." Second, this is a perfect example of why people use adverbs even though they're the tools of the devil. According to Stephen King, people use adverbs because they're afraid that otherwise, people won't understand what they mean. When the public outcry against my "nba predictions 07-08" blog was so intense that I joked that people should "feel free not to read" this page, I was (I thought) obviously joking. But I don't think that was clear. And that made Joe think that the tone of his comment--a cogent "gross"--wasn't clear either (although it was). There were a lot of late-night phone calls and crying involved. Anyway, my apologies to anyone who thought I was really offended by his or her snarkiness. I am a fan of snarkiness. (Incidentally, wouldn't Snarkiness be a great name for a band?)
"I just saw The Big Lebowski because everyone thinks it's awesome...and I didn't really like it. I'm not sure why. I do like White Russians, though." (Stacy, "top 50 movies (50-41)")
1) You're crazy for not liking The Big Lebowski. 2) Did anyone that took the Booze Test yesterday think it was funny that the first clue for White Russian was a picture of Jeff Bridges in this movie?
"and i flippin' love tony kornheiser." (Joe, "why sam is awesome")
What?! Is this really true? I was just scanning through old comments and I don't think I caught this the first time through. I feel like you're being sarcastic. Are you?
"Ahoy. This is Jessi (August)...I think I have an answer to something you were debating earlier. Your '3rd Thing' that you're good at is grammar. How do I know this? You corrected Elisa Gately's entry in my yearbook with red pen." (Jessi, "happy holidays")
1) I no longer feel guilty (or stupid) about calling you Jessi August in "googling you" since that's the way you re-introduced yourself here. 2) I don't remember this incident with Elisa Gately's yearbook. Can this possibly be true? It seems like something I'd do now, but I guess I'd been fooling myself into thinking that I was less uncool back then. That's depressing.
We're going to stop at the end of 2007 because I've got actual work to be doing. We'll have another installment some other time when I'm uninspired. Enjoy your weekend.
Later gators.
"I'm a simple girl, but I'll be supportive of your guac burger thing. But I really think you've got an entire state out here that would be receptive to your guac movement. You're not alone, Baker." (Claire, "guac, stock, and barrel")
So I went to Fuddruckers the other night with Nicole, and when I went up to order my burger, I said, "Do you guys have guacamole?" And the girl said, "Yeah. We can put it on your burger if you want." I was stunned. Is there a groundswell as a result of teacher man? Am I convincing the masses? "I do," I said. "Do people ask you to do that a lot?" "No." I see.
"I can't believe how much time you have to waste at school. I'm horribly jealous. But, clearly I'm not doing work right now either, so maybe I should just be quiet." (Stacy, "top 10 snl sketches")
Here's the thing: I don't have time to waste at school. I'm extraordinarily busy. And in that way, this blog is sort of like Netflix. Netflix makes me so nervous you wouldn't believe. Every time that we have a movie for more than a few days, I feel like I'm wasting hard-earned money. And sometimes I'll have a bunch of papers to grade and copies to make, but I'll sit down and type one frantic blog entry just to get it up. I think I'm getting a blog-induced ulcer. (Incidentally, wouldn't Blog-Induced Ulcer be a great name for a band?)
"i laughed out loud so much while reading this that my boss had to come ask me if i was 'okay' --aka, 'start working.'" (Joe, "the faculty meeting")
While I appreciate that you enjoyed the entry, your boss having to come calm you down reminds me of my degenerate students. They'll be goofing around, so I'll walk over and say something like, "How are we doing, fellas?" And they'll say fine and get back to work, then I go to another group and the first group gets rowdy again until we repeat the procedure. Eventually, I just say, "Guys, I'm getting bored of walking over and trying to give you subtle hints to get back to work. Knock it off." (In case you missed it, Joe, you were the degenerate student in this analogy.)
"sorry about that 'gross' comment, mr. baker. i thought i was being funny, didnt mean to offend. and steve carrell always makes a mean bratwurst." (Joe, "joe on rollerblades")
First, I don't think there's anywhere else on the Internet wherer you'll find the statemtent, "steve carrell always makes a mean bratwurst." Second, this is a perfect example of why people use adverbs even though they're the tools of the devil. According to Stephen King, people use adverbs because they're afraid that otherwise, people won't understand what they mean. When the public outcry against my "nba predictions 07-08" blog was so intense that I joked that people should "feel free not to read" this page, I was (I thought) obviously joking. But I don't think that was clear. And that made Joe think that the tone of his comment--a cogent "gross"--wasn't clear either (although it was). There were a lot of late-night phone calls and crying involved. Anyway, my apologies to anyone who thought I was really offended by his or her snarkiness. I am a fan of snarkiness. (Incidentally, wouldn't Snarkiness be a great name for a band?)
"I just saw The Big Lebowski because everyone thinks it's awesome...and I didn't really like it. I'm not sure why. I do like White Russians, though." (Stacy, "top 50 movies (50-41)")
1) You're crazy for not liking The Big Lebowski. 2) Did anyone that took the Booze Test yesterday think it was funny that the first clue for White Russian was a picture of Jeff Bridges in this movie?
"and i flippin' love tony kornheiser." (Joe, "why sam is awesome")
What?! Is this really true? I was just scanning through old comments and I don't think I caught this the first time through. I feel like you're being sarcastic. Are you?
"Ahoy. This is Jessi (August)...I think I have an answer to something you were debating earlier. Your '3rd Thing' that you're good at is grammar. How do I know this? You corrected Elisa Gately's entry in my yearbook with red pen." (Jessi, "happy holidays")
1) I no longer feel guilty (or stupid) about calling you Jessi August in "googling you" since that's the way you re-introduced yourself here. 2) I don't remember this incident with Elisa Gately's yearbook. Can this possibly be true? It seems like something I'd do now, but I guess I'd been fooling myself into thinking that I was less uncool back then. That's depressing.
We're going to stop at the end of 2007 because I've got actual work to be doing. We'll have another installment some other time when I'm uninspired. Enjoy your weekend.
Later gators.
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