Tuesday, June 3, 2008

the big 1-0-0

Wow. There are so many people I'd like to thank for making my first 100 blog entries possible. Mrs. Burke for teaching me how to type. The fine people at blogspot.com for giving me a forum. My students for being ridiculous and always giving me good material. I couldn't have done this without you.

So on Sunday I went to BFHS's graduation, and it was nice, but I noticed that the Class of '08 didn't have a class motto. This was disappointing. When I was in high school, we did quite a number on the concept of class stuff. We adopted three things for our class: a class flower, class colors, and a class motto. They were:

CLASS FLOWER: the dandelion
CLASS COLORS: white and off-white
CLASS MOTTO: "I like cheese, you like cheese, let's be friends."

Those are facts. So if someone from the Class of '08 reads this and decides that he or she would like to retroactively decide on a class motto, I've got some suggestions:

"I despise cool. I've never seen one frickin' person who I liked who was cool." (Roy Williams)

"Are you really so arrogant as to believe that we are alone in this universe?" (Tom Cruise, when asked if he believed in aliens)

"The loudest guy in the room is the weakest guy in the room." (Frank Lucas, American Gangster)

"Do you know how easy this is for me? Do you know how (expletive) easy this is? Do you have any (expletive) clue? It's a (expletive) joke. And I'm sorry you can't do this, I really am. I'm sorry I have to sit around and watch you fumble around and (expletive) it up." (Will Hunting, Good Will Hunting)

"Children are like TV sets. When they start acting weird, whack them across the head with a big rubber basketball shoe." (Hunter S. Thompson)

"Being a professional means doing your job on the days you don't feel like doing it." (David Halberstam)

"Never rat on your friends and always keep your mouth shut." (Jimmy Conway, Goodfellas)

"They can do whatever they want. I'll still be eating steak every night." (Philadelphia Phillies infielder Von Hayes, on fans in Philadelphia booing him)

"You think you're so special because you get to play Picture Pages up there? Well, my five year old daughter could do that and let me tell you, she's not the brightest bulb in the tanning bed. So why don't you go back to night school in Mantino and learn a real trade." (Bren to the ultrasound technician, Juno)

"This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time." (Narrator, Fight Club)

"Whether or not what we experienced was an According to Hoyle miracle is insignificant. What is significant is that I felt the touch of God. God got involved." (Jules, Pulp Fiction)

"Whenever I see a homeless guy, I always run back and give him money, because I think, 'Oh my God, what if that was Jesus?'" (Pamela Anderson)

"Beware of all enterprises which require new clothes." (Henry David Thoreau)

"'And death shall be no more,' comma, 'death, thou shalt die.' Nothing but a breath, a comma separates life from life everlasting. Very simple, really. With the original punctuation restored, Death is no longer something to act out on a stage with exclamation marks. It is a comma. A pause. In this way, the uncompromising way, one learns something from the poem, wouldn't you say? Life, death, soul, God, past, present. Not insuperable barriers. Not semi-colons. Just a comma." (E.M. Ashford, Wit)

"This is an environment of welcoming, and you should just get the hell out of here." (Michael Scott, The Office)

"I'm not too worried about it, really. I wouldn't worry about it. Don't worry about it. I'm not worried at all." (Evan, Superbad)

"Every time that I have ever tried to help a woman out, I have been incarcerated." (Jose Canseco, The Surreal Life)

"I eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich before every game. Whoever invented that was smart. That's got to be one of the best sandwiches ever." (Ben Gordon, Chicago Bulls)

"Never get less than 12 hours sleep, never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city, and never go near a lady with a tattoo of a dagger on her hand. Now you stick with that, and everything else is cream cheese." (Coach Finstock, Teen Wolf)

So there you go. And even if you're not looking for a class motto, you probably need a little more wisdom in your life. Glad I could help.

Later gators.

6 comments:

Sara said...

The one from Superbad should be my new motto, I'm pretty sure.

sfoofie said...

LOVED these! (and I can't believe that was your class motto. I'm jealous)

The Ben Show said...

I have so many thoughts on this post! I love quotes. You posted my #1 absolute favorite, most repeated (by me) quote from "the office." I love to hit people with that when they come to my office. Also - love the quote from Evan in Superbad. In fact, if there had been no Evan in the movie Superbad I wouldn't have even liked it, b/c he made that movie for me. Finally, ironically, Pam Anderson's unique take on scripture is actually the exact same thought I have when I've had strange people ask me for a ride, or for money, etc. I cannot say no. It might be Jesus...

Stacy said...

Any blog entry that references Teen Wolf, The Office, a John Donne poem (Wit), and the movie you just saw last night (American Gangster) is pretty awesome. :)

panykattack said...

Three things:
1.) I frickin' love our class motto. It is the best class motto in history.

2.) There was a class motto listed in the program at graduation. It was a Robert Frost quote if I'm not mistaken.

3.) I saw you at graduation and you looked less than enthused to be there.

Claire said...

Pamela Anderson next to Thoreau next to Wit next to Michael Scott? Yes please!

But Bren's picture pages rant is still the best in my book.

And Jose Canseco was on The Surreal Life? I'm so not surprised.