Friday, May 23, 2008

teacher man mailbag 3

I was reading Bill Simmons recently, and someone pointed out to him that the phrase "mailing it in" is sort of outdated. This person's argument was that, in light of recent technological developments, actually mailing something turns out to be significantly more work than most other methods of communication. You've got to write it out, then you've got to find an envelope and a stamp. Eventually, you need to find a post office or a mailbox. "Mailing it in" is a pain in the ass. So why is it a metaphor for taking the easy way out? Simmons's suggestion was that we replace "mailing it in" with "texting it in."

I have no other ideas, so today I'm doing a mailbag. Today, I'm texting it in.

"Is an exclamation point ever good? And now I have the Reading Rainbow song in my head. Thank you very much." (claire, "teacher man dictionary")
1) It's not exactly good or bad. It's more like a "woah" or a "huh?" Like the other day when a kid wrote that sheep were the "Paris Hiltons of farm animals." It's a statement that makes you take pause, but who am I to argue? 2) Some interesting LaVar Burton trivia: His first name is actually Levardis. He was born in West Germany. He played Martin Luther King, Jr. in Ali. He has participated in the World Poker Tour. He was the strongest link in the Star Trek episode of The Weakest Link. The Oakland Athletics let him play with them during spring training while he was doing the Reading Rainbow episode Dinosaur Bob and His Adventures with the Family Lazardo. Not many other places on the web that you can learn that kind of information.

"This one is my favorite: A BIRTHDAY CARD found in San Francisco, CA: 'Happy 30th kiddo. It gets better and better! Then it gets worse. Dad.' PS - Kelly - I heart Swarley, too!! The look at Robin was awesome. But, I don't really like Stella, so I hope she's not the mother!?!?!" (stacy, "found")
First of all, I don't condone the excessive use of punctuation here, even if you are the kind of doctor that doesn't help people. Second, I thought that my newly-thirty friends would enjoy that one. Third, I haven't seen last week's HIMYM yet, so I can't comment, but I'm sure that Stella's not the mother, and the entire narrative device is starting to irritate me.

STOP: I'm sorry because I'm pausing in the middle of an entry to share what just happened in the computer lab, but this is the sort of thing that needs to be shared. I'm sitting at a computer typing my blog entry. Mr. Phillips's class is in here, ostensibly to do work. Some kid--Carl perhaps--starts scooting around the room in his chair (the kind with wheels). He's leaning back in the goofy way that 2nd-graders often do, and all of a sudden, when everything is silent, he just falls out of his chair onto the ground. Then he gets up, drags his chair back to his computer, sits down, and starts telling the kid next to him how it happened. And this kind of thing happens every single day.

Anyway, the "how I met your mother" element of How I Met Your Mother is wearing thin. I mean, those kids are still wearing the same clothes! Are we to assume that this is one long story that Danny Tanner has been telling them? It's also always been kind of troubling to me the kinds of stories he shares with his kids--that show gets pretty racy at times. Do you think there's going to be a spin-off called How My Dad Scarred Me For Life With Stories Of His Debauched Bachelorhood? Anyway, it's nitpicky stuff because I still love the show, but I just thought I'd throw it out there.

"ps: Check out" (sfoofie, "found")
I do not know who sfoofie is, but she's right. This web site is hilarious. My favorite part so far is the collection of notes people have written about co-workers/etc. stealing their Hot Pockets. An example: "To whom stole the hotpockets! They did not belong to you! By you consuming said hotpockets, you have committed a theft! This shall not be tolerated!"

"I always make my brothers mad by participating in the draft and then proceeding to do absolutely nothing for the rest of the season until one of them calls me mad b/c apparently they offered me some 'trade' weeks previously." (the ben show, "don't forget: i suck at fantasy baseball")
2 things here. 1) You're wrong. Your brothers aren't mad at you because you lose interest in the league. They are mad at you because you have a condescending attitude toward fantasy baseball. Do you know how I know? You put quotation marks around "trade." They offered me some "trade." What the hell is that? A trade is a legitimate part of fantasy baseball. Just because I suck at it doesn't mean I don't respect the sanctity of the game. I'm not sure that you do. 2) I'm excerpting Kelly's blog because I laughed out loud at her Thursday entry this week--it's a conversation between her and her husband Ryan. We begin with Kelly stealing Ryan's laptop while he's doing work:

KELLY: (mumbling) Do you mind if I just see who won?
RYAN: (interrupting) Well, Hillary took Kentucky, but I think Obama's gonna crush her in Oregon.
KELLY: (blushing) Oh...I meant on Dancing With The Stars.

"I think dressing as Dwight was the best one... that, and when he put Dwight's desk in the bathroom, and then Dwight answered the phone." (sara, "top 10 jim halpert pranks")
Okay, so I made a mistake. Virtually every comment I received regarding yesterday's post said that Jim dressing up as Dwight was the best. Then yesterday (in Advanced Comp.!), we watched "Product Recall," and you know what? You're right. I goofed. It's the best. My mistake. Won't happen again.

Enjoy your long weekend, gators.


Sara said...

When will there be some kind of celebratory entry about David Cook winning American Idol? We need to document this because it's rare that the right person actually wins a reality show (The Celebrity Apprentice?).

sfoofie said...

Glad you enjoyed the site.
I don't know who you are either, but I found your blog and enjoy it. I think it was a Google reccommendation. I especially like it when you post what students these days are writing in their papers. Plus we have a common connection in Ripon, WI... I went to preschool there.
(oh, my name is Stacy too and it was confusing me for awhile when you reference a different Stacy.

The Ben Show said...

For the record, I wish HIMYM had never started with that contrived plot device. They should have just made it a fun sitcom about some friends just hangin' out at the coffeehouse - er, I mean BAR. I cannot see any way that sarah chalke could be the mother. Wouldn't Saget's kids know that their mom is a dermatologist with a daughter?!

Stacy said...

Are you a real teacher? You watched "Product Recall" in class???

Claire said...

oh man, so many things. first, i'm with stacy - you watched "product recall" in class?! i'm filing that under things i wish had happened to me #23943280.

sheep are the "Paris Hiltons of farm animals." that is the best thing i've ever read. and those are all things i did not know about levar burton, so thank you for that.

my favorite part of is the tags. more aggressive than passive, excessive underlining, not-so-veiled threats. haha.

how about brian roberts for the token oriole that you need to have on your team? just looking out for you, kid.