Monday, March 10, 2008

googling you

So I did a post a while back in which I claimed that it was impossible for a person not to do an Internet search for himself or herself. It's just too tempting. (My wife claims that she's never done it, but then I Googled her name and found it on a web page called pathologicalliars.com.) I learned that there are people with my name in the business world, the art world, and Hollywood. Also, our appreciation for Tom and Diane, who DJ'd our wedding, is still there for all to see on the Night Dancin' web site.

So it occurred to me that it might be interesting to see what pops up when I Google some of my readers and other close friends. In every case, I used the Google search engine and entered your name in quotation marks. (Sorry if I missed anybody.) Here's what I learned:

"sara baker." Does my wife lead a secret double-life in which she spends her nights as a wife and mother to me and Charlie but spends her days collaborating with Oren Helbok to create "unique animated handmade furniture inspired by patterns of nature"? Probably not, but if I find out that she does, you can expect a lenghty blog entry about it in the near future.

"charlie baker." Charlie's got a blog! This one, however, is about health care. And it's got nothing to do with my son. It's the brainchild of Charlie Baker, President and CEO of Harvard Pilgrim. I don't know what Harvard Pilgrim is, but here's a picture of the "other" Charlie Baker.

"stacy erickson." In addition to her groundbreaking work on publishing in Elizabethan England (or something like that), my sister-in-law is evidently a prominent photographer in the Tuscon area. This is her poorly-designed MySpace page. It needs work, Stace.

NOTE: I just spent three minutes trying to figure out how to spell Stace/Stac. Did I make the right call? You tell me.

"joe baker." Joe actually does paint--you can ask Charlie (our son, not the Harvard Pilgrim guy), who comes into our bed every morning and says, "Joe picture," while pointing at the painting that hangs on the wall of our room. So it's interesting that this Joe Baker is also a painter. This one is weirder, as evidenced by the creepy monkey pointing the cane at the guy in the top hat. Seriously.

"sam baker." So close. This is a musician, but it's a guy from Texas with some kind of skull in the middle of his homepage. The Sam that we all know and love is much, much better.

"dick baker." This is probably the worst-looking page on the Internet. Remember in Shattered Glass when Stephen Glass put together the Jukt Micronics web page in like five minutes to try to convince the media that the corporation existed? That's what this looks like. Also, he sites "Dick Two Ton Baker" as a "personal interest." I hope this isn't Dad.

"roxanne baker." No way! It's an IMDB page for a make-up artist named Roxanne "Roxie" Baker, who has evidently worked on not only Saved By The Bell: The College Years, but also How I Met Your Mother. Nice, Mom.

"kelly sanders." "TV.com offers all the latest Kelly Sanders news as well as exclusive Kelly Sanders photos." Wow. I wonder where people would go if they wanted all the latest Alex Baker news? Probably here.

"jessica august." Oh my. This is a very racy page. It's not even about someone named Jessica August. It's about someone named Jessica who was the covergirl for the month of August. I'm not even going to link to it. You can check it out yourself if you're that kind of person. I'm moving on.

"grace ribbe." This Grace is the great-granddaughter of a woman named Jean Lindgren, and I'm looking at her obituary. I don't think this is our Grace, but her father's name is Rob. Angie, is your name really Jacquelyn? If not, is it possible that Rob is a polygamist and fathering girls named Grace Ribbe all over the Midwest (this one is from DePere)? Just something to think about.

"katelyn thompson." Stud volleyball player in Arizona. Made the 2006 All-Southern Arizona Team. Honorable mention, but still.

"nicole beckford." A graduate of the College of Mount Saint Vincent, she's now the Director of Human Resources at St. Joseph's Medical Center in Yonkers, New York. If that's what you actually did, I bet you'd make more money than you do teaching high school English.

"becky provencher." So you are clearly my most important friend since yours is the only name that takes me to a web page that is actually about you. I couldn't be more impressed. And your work on behalf of the Chicago Arts Partnership in Education has been outstanding. Bang up job, Beck.

So there you have it. Becky, you're remarkable. The rest of you, you share names with remarkable people. I think you should all be quite proud.

Later gators.

5 comments:

Stacy said...

This is so fun! :)

I just looked me up. My My Space page is weird - but I learned that I take pictures of babies and pregnant women. Apprently, I'm also a grad student in Molecular and Cell Biology in Colorado and an artist in Santa Fe.

If you google "Dr. Stacy Erickson," the first one that comes up is really me. Is that as cool as Becky's page?

PS - Good call. It's "Stace."

PPS - You all know that the publishing in Elizabethan England stuff is really me, right? I just wanted to emphasize that I'm the nerdiest person with my name out there.

Claire said...

Maybe you're looking through some sort of wormhole into Charlie's future. Woah.

I'm impressed that 8 of the 9 links that come up when you google me are actually about me. The other one is IMDb, and it's baffling that while I do actually have an IMDb, this is not it. Huh. Also notable is the link to the article by Sonya Sorich at Ripon where I swear she made up quotes from me.

The Smith's said...

That really made me laugh. And I love that "the latest kelly sanders news" is now a category on your blog.

jhoward. said...

the creepy monkey was a self portrait.

panykattack said...

Oh man. So my maiden name brings up racy websites. My married name brings up NO matches! At least not in conjunction with my first name. Apparently Panyk is not a popular last name.