teacher man mailbag

A while back, I decided that if a day came when I just couldn't come up with anything interesting for a blog, I would let you do the work. The day has come. That said, prepare for the first-ever teacher man mailbag with my responses to comments you've left along the way. Enjoy.

"I'm a simple girl, but I'll be supportive of your guac burger thing. But I really think you've got an entire state out here that would be receptive to your guac movement. You're not alone, Baker." (Claire, "guac, stock, and barrel")
So I went to Fuddruckers the other night with Nicole, and when I went up to order my burger, I said, "Do you guys have guacamole?" And the girl said, "Yeah. We can put it on your burger if you want." I was stunned. Is there a groundswell as a result of teacher man? Am I convincing the masses? "I do," I said. "Do people ask you to do that a lot?" "No." I see.

"I can't believe how much time you have to waste at school. I'm horribly jealous. But, clearly I'm not doing work right now either, so maybe I should just be quiet." (Stacy, "top 10 snl sketches")
Here's the thing: I don't have time to waste at school. I'm extraordinarily busy. And in that way, this blog is sort of like Netflix. Netflix makes me so nervous you wouldn't believe. Every time that we have a movie for more than a few days, I feel like I'm wasting hard-earned money. And sometimes I'll have a bunch of papers to grade and copies to make, but I'll sit down and type one frantic blog entry just to get it up. I think I'm getting a blog-induced ulcer. (Incidentally, wouldn't Blog-Induced Ulcer be a great name for a band?)

"i laughed out loud so much while reading this that my boss had to come ask me if i was 'okay' --aka, 'start working.'" (Joe, "the faculty meeting")
While I appreciate that you enjoyed the entry, your boss having to come calm you down reminds me of my degenerate students. They'll be goofing around, so I'll walk over and say something like, "How are we doing, fellas?" And they'll say fine and get back to work, then I go to another group and the first group gets rowdy again until we repeat the procedure. Eventually, I just say, "Guys, I'm getting bored of walking over and trying to give you subtle hints to get back to work. Knock it off." (In case you missed it, Joe, you were the degenerate student in this analogy.)

"sorry about that 'gross' comment, mr. baker. i thought i was being funny, didnt mean to offend. and steve carrell always makes a mean bratwurst." (Joe, "joe on rollerblades")
First, I don't think there's anywhere else on the Internet wherer you'll find the statemtent, "steve carrell always makes a mean bratwurst." Second, this is a perfect example of why people use adverbs even though they're the tools of the devil. According to Stephen King, people use adverbs because they're afraid that otherwise, people won't understand what they mean. When the public outcry against my "nba predictions 07-08" blog was so intense that I joked that people should "feel free not to read" this page, I was (I thought) obviously joking. But I don't think that was clear. And that made Joe think that the tone of his comment--a cogent "gross"--wasn't clear either (although it was). There were a lot of late-night phone calls and crying involved. Anyway, my apologies to anyone who thought I was really offended by his or her snarkiness. I am a fan of snarkiness. (Incidentally, wouldn't Snarkiness be a great name for a band?)

"I just saw The Big Lebowski because everyone thinks it's awesome...and I didn't really like it. I'm not sure why. I do like White Russians, though." (Stacy, "top 50 movies (50-41)")
1) You're crazy for not liking The Big Lebowski. 2) Did anyone that took the Booze Test yesterday think it was funny that the first clue for White Russian was a picture of Jeff Bridges in this movie?

"and i flippin' love tony kornheiser." (Joe, "why sam is awesome")
What?! Is this really true? I was just scanning through old comments and I don't think I caught this the first time through. I feel like you're being sarcastic. Are you?

"Ahoy. This is Jessi (August)...I think I have an answer to something you were debating earlier. Your '3rd Thing' that you're good at is grammar. How do I know this? You corrected Elisa Gately's entry in my yearbook with red pen." (Jessi, "happy holidays")
1) I no longer feel guilty (or stupid) about calling you Jessi August in "googling you" since that's the way you re-introduced yourself here. 2) I don't remember this incident with Elisa Gately's yearbook. Can this possibly be true? It seems like something I'd do now, but I guess I'd been fooling myself into thinking that I was less uncool back then. That's depressing.

We're going to stop at the end of 2007 because I've got actual work to be doing. We'll have another installment some other time when I'm uninspired. Enjoy your weekend.

Later gators.